Ugh, I’ve been spending the day feeling very unsure of myself. When I write blogs about body image, my intention is to make women feel better about themselves, since I struggled for most of my life with the issue. When I miss the mark, I take it personally. It has been eating at me all day, and I began to ponder what I could do to change my focus and regain a positive attitude. Yes, as I’ve written about before, I am one of those annoying brightsiders. I’m generally looking to shove some sort of sunshine up your ass and make everything ok again. So I gave myself an internal pep talk, swallowed a few rainbows, and do what I do when I need a boost- turn to a creative project.
I’ve been working on my second stop motion piece. It’s a bit rough, but I dig it. I’m hoping to rework it a bit- the seed sequence is too long, I’m not happy with the door sequence. But I really love the Baby’s room. It was so much fun to create this little world . I loved scouring my house to find a carpet (a scarf I stapled to the cardboard), a vase of flowers (a glass bead and some tiny flowers from the bush in my front yard), and a dresser (a series of blocks with beads glued to them.) If I was in my pre-kids days, I could see spending days just crafting rooms and adding details, making the perfect environment. Maybe I’ll get a chance to work on that more in the future.
The thing that makes me feel so good about this piece, is when I watch it, it is just covered in love (no semen jokes.) There are so many little moments that mean nothing to anyone but me, and when I see it, I notice all those little intricacies, and I feel completely safe and cared for.
The Baby was my doll from childhood, and my son Kellen has a special attachment to it. The hand placing the first pomegranate seed belongs to Liam, my eldest. The seeds remind me of the first time I ever tasted the fruit. I was playing in the neighbors fields, and one of their children offered me one. I thought it was the most delicious fruit I ever tasted. The rotating plate was a wedding present from my Aunt Lee Anne, whom I adore. The carpet scarf was crocheted by my dear mother in law, Sandy. She is one of my favorite people. The bear is my husband’s. It belonged to his grandfather. The paper on the trees was painted by my sons. The sheets on the bed were made from a baby blanket I used with my children. The small figures behind the mountains were given to me by a high school girlfriend, Jen.
Almost every little detail means something to me, reminds me of someone I love. On this day before Thanksgiving, I am reminded how truly blessed I am to live a life filled with remarkable people who offer me constant inspiration, guidance, support, and love. I am beyond thankful for each of you. I feel like my life is bursting at the seams with goodness.
Ok, enough sunshine. Now, I’m going to do the other thing that always lifts my day when I need it. Run!