My husband, the feminist

My husband is fantastic.  This post will come across as a mandatory “thank you” because Ben is watching the kids so I can go away for the weekend (love you, Turbo).  But I’m pretty sure that my husband is wise enough not to read my blog, so when I say he rocks, it is more than lip service.

I was comparing notes with a few of the moms of Liam’s classmates.  When they found out I was going to CO for a solo trip, their curiosity was piqued, followed by the onset of jealousy.  One mom has yet to leave both of her sons alone with her husband because he’s not quite comfortable.  He travels frequently, and so a good deal of the parental duties fall on her shoulders.  Another mother has a very supportive and liberal-minded partner, but because she stays home with the kids, she handles most of the day to day tasks.  She admitted if an emergency were to occur, her husband would have no clue where their doctor’s office is located.

I mentioned that I prepared blueberry pancakes that morning and froze them, so the kids could have them over the weekend.  I remarked that I wasn’t sure why I did this, since there were other things to eat in the house.  One mother replied “and your husband will probably take them out anyway”- which is actually something I am much more likely to do.

But within our conversation, I found out that another woman was also travelling on Mom’s Holiday this weekend.  Many of the moms I know have gotten away for a weekend, something my own mother never had the luxury of.  I had a wonderful and loving father, but if my mother had asked to leave for a weekend by herself, he would have chucked her on the shoulder and said “good one.”

Maybe there is a feminist accomplishment behind this shift in dynamics- I’d like to think so.  But really, I think my husband just does not want to miss out on being a dad.  As much as he may hate it, he knows there is a bond that forms when you get up in the middle of the night to comfort your child, or when take them to the doctor when they are not feeling well.  My kids are the most fun when they first get up in the morning.  If he chose to sleep in, he might miss them air guitaring while singing “I Love Rock and Roll.”

Ok, maybe he is a bit of a feminist even if he’d never call himself that.  There is a shift in thinking among today’s dads, and for that, I’m grateful.   He does see us as equal partners in the relationship.  He respects that I work hard, just as he does, even if I am not paid to do so.  He regularly thanks me for mothering our children, and taking care of him.  Where some men return from work with an “off duty” attitude, he knows neither of us punches out until the kids are in bed.

If you are lucky enough to have a guy like this, give him an extra squeeze tonight and let him know you love him.  Then be sure to ask him when you can plan your next getaway

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