First Phase

“I’m trying to be a girl and stay here.”

Kellen utters the words while looking at the floor.   I hug him and inquire as to why he wants to be a girl.

“He wants you to stay here.  You are the girl,” Liam interprets and then resumes playing with his legos.

I know what Kellen means.  I was just hoping to draw it out of him so I could offer reassurance.  Kellen does not want me to leave.  As I look on his eyes gazing at the floor, the corners of his mouth turned down, I wonder what damage he will incur because of my need for me time.

I have already kissed Liam and whispered goodbye.  He is more than happy to have a weekend in “men’s town.”  He tells me to have fun and gets back to his legos.  All he thinks about right now is legos.  He wants me to go on the trip in hopes I will return with a new set as bribery.

I hug Ben and he pecks me on the lips.”Kiss me like you are going to miss me, not like I’m your sister,” I pout.

He tries again and I head toward the garage.  I’m sure to him, it feels like three days.  To me, a lifetime in a weekend, a trip back in time.

I drive thirty minutes to the airport.  Travelling with only a backpack feels like travelling naked- equal parts creepy and luxurious.  I cruise right to security having taken advantage of online check in- an option unknown to parents of small children.

I head to the bar and order a drink.  I have not had an overpriced airport drink in about six years.  It tastes like a regular rum and coke, but I feel the effects instantly.  Perhaps placebo, maybe reality- afternoon drinking is usually off limits, but I am on vacation from being a mom. Is there really such a thing?  No.  I’ll think of my kids all weekend.  I’m already curious to see if I can actually sleep in, or if I’ll suffer the damage of staying up too late only to awake on kid time.  We shall see I guess.

I have to go catch a flight now.  What tricks will the weekend hold?

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